Corrupt a Wish

Granted, Rhyphix and your racist uncle are your brand new candidates!

I wish the magic soda machine was real.

Granted, but it is operated by Rhyphix

I wish that cancer was cured

Granted, now you have an even worse disease to deal with.

I wish my shoulder didn't hurt all the time.

Granted, you're now in a coma and can't feel anything

I wish that faster than light travel was discovered

Granted, you immediately get thrust to that speed and discover it personally. You explode.

I wish I could safely live on Mars.

Granted, but theirs no wi-fi and you have to work all day just to stay alive

I wish that unicorns were real

Granted, unicorns now once existed, but got hunted to extinction by RunDown'a ancestors.

I wish I had a hammock in my backyard.

Granted, but when you lay on it, it collapses.

I wish that this wish be impossible to corrupt, in any direct or indirect manner.

Granted, the words "this wish" are now incorruptible and set in stone for the rest of eternity.

I wish that EA didn't have such a knack for paradoxes.

Granted, EA, whoever that is, does not have a knack for paradoxes, however I, USEA, do.

I wish Altino didn't undermine my previous wish with that little loophole, it be sealed, allowing it to stand and be true.

Granted, history will remember not Altino, but Ghamorra undermining your previous wish.

I wish USEA stood a better chance of ever beating me. ;D

Granted, USEA has a better chance of winning, but to ensure this, Altino stops being so good at finding loopholes

I wish that the entirety of this statement be true: this wish may not be corrupted or manipulated in any way, shape, or form whatsoever, that no loopholes may ever be seeked, and that no one, nothing (not limited to) and no word play of any kind be able to corrupt this wish. Therefore, invalidifying any statement that succeeds the entirety of this statement as a whole.

Granted, in some universe, somewhere, that statement is definitely true. But not this one.

I wish that I was asleep.

Granted *hits Altino in the head with a frying pan*

I wish the previous wish USEA, EA, Eastern America, United States of Eastern America, or whatever I may be called, become true in every universe, including the one we are all in.

Granted, your wishes have now come true in every universe. Suddenly, you wake up. It was all a dream. Not even the wishes exist in the real world.

I wish my house had a button I could press that would make it suddenly clean, so I wouldn't have to do it.

Granted, but the button makes it so you are the one who "suddenly cleans it"

I wish that my wishes are real in every world, every universe, everything and everywhere and no one, no thing may stop it from being so.

Granted. If ever you had made a wish, it would have been so. Unfortunately, you haven't.

I wish these paradoxes weren't getting so hard to stop...

Granted, but the pony is large and squashes you

I wish for world peace

Granted, but not on this world.

I wish for eternal happiness.

Granted, but right after you wish for that, time ends

I wish that I was able to hack into any computer I wanted to

Granted, but all computers pop out of existence

I wish for good friends that would back me up in my time of need.

Granted, but you pretty much have things under control and don't really end up with needs. (My heart couldn't tarnish this wish.

I wish that Altino made a wish

Granted, Altino did make a wish, but Forumotion hates her and killed it. ;-;

I wish I could go back to the year 2012 and stay there.

granted, but the pony gives you indigestion.

I wish for a robot.