Corrupt a Wish

RULES:
Grant the wish of the nation above you, but spin it so that they get an unexpected result! Then make a wish of your own.

Initial wish: I wish that I never ran out of ketchup.

EXAMPLE:
Poster 1: Granted, but you're not allowed to use any of it.
I wish that Adam Sandler never existed.
Poster 2: Granted, but you're personal doomed to play his parts exactly as he played them for the rest of eternity.
I wish that I were a ninja.
Poster 3: Granted, you're that redneck ninja from Youtube who told us not to go "ninjin' anybody that ain't need ninjin'"
I wish that I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.

Granted, you are trapped in a room that is being flooded with ketchup
I wish for world peace

Granted, but it's on a different world.

I wish my house weren't so cold.

Granted, it's now on fire.

I wish I had a hamburger right now.

Granted, you receive your hamburger with extra cyanide in it

I wish I was the supreme leader of the world

Granted, but you're assassinated two minutes later.

I wish for my post count from the last forum to be back

Granted, but you can only post on that forum, so no one else even knows about it.

I wish I had milk.

Granted, someone spills a carton of milk on your head

I wish I had 1 million dollars

Granted, but the economy crashes, so it's only worth about 3 loaves of bread and a toothbrush.

I wish I had a computer desk.

Granted, but the desk is a nuclear bomb that could go off at any time
I wish I was a famous actor

Granted, but you're one of the dead ones.

I wish Altino was a real country.

Granted, but it is controlled by Rhyphix

I wish I had the powers of Superman, but without a weakness to kryptonite

Granted, but so does everyone else, so it's nothing special.

I wish I didn't have so many emails from this forum.

Granted, you're banned from the forum

I wish for peace in the Middle East

Granted, but the rest of the planet is now at war.

I wish I had a peppermint mocha.

Granted, it was given to you by a creepy old man who already drank most of it

I wish that Illuminati became the most popular region on NationStates

Granted, but we're only popular because people are trying to raid us.

I wish that I could make a living without having to go to work every day.

Granted, you don't have to go to work because you can never leave work

I wish I was endorsed by all of the WA members in the region

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! : ((((((((((
*sobs*

G...Granted... but you're kicked out of the region for surpassing the endorsement cap.

I wish I hadn't just had to experience the horrible drama of having to live at work...

Granted, you're fired and have to sell your computer and phone to make ends meet

I wish I was in the real Illuminati

You are initiated and sacrificed.

I wish my genetics paper due tomorrow is worth a 100%

Granted, but your paper is erased from existence

I wish that I won the lottery

You won the lottery of birth. You were born in the USA

I wish i was dead

Granted, you go to hell

I wish for faster internet

I am a ginger from florida living in coloado, Hell is alright and warm .

but you have faster internet and no devices able to connect to it.

I wish for a pony, to ride or eat i don't care.